let's go, jom!

back

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 04:36:00 +0000

Salam Ma'al Hijrah 1431!

p/s - be safe and happy wherever you are :)

it's NOT the last goodbye...

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 02:52:00 +0000

the one and only brother is now with Him

u will be deeply missed, abang chik...

missing u already...

al-fatihah

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 05:59:00 +0000

the brother

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 13:09:00 +0000

the one and only brother of mine is now engaged. the majlis was on the 3rd day of syawal. it was lovely. the tok imam was funny. the foods were great. but, we got home that night feeling... well, sort of like something is different. we keep on saying till today... abang is engaged. abang is engaged. he's ENGAGED now! *gulp*

he better be happy!

yikesss!!

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 06:02:00 +0000

banyaknya kerja sejak akhir-akhir ni! rasa macam dah buat banyak, tapi masih ada banyak lagi yang kena buat. T___T saya masih belum bersedia untuk peperiksaan hari sabtu ni! menggelabah. satu lagi peperiksaan telah saya reschedule ke november. masih belum bersedia. siapa pernah ambil GRE? pengalaman anda bagaimana? verbal section susah ~~nak mampos~~ sangat lah. mungkin kalau saya ini native speaker atau dari kecik cakap english tahap kamus oxford advanced learner atau lebih baik lagi merriam-webster, mungkin senang. T___T. quantitative section ok, mungkin.

********************************
updates:

"la tahzan innallaha ma'ana.. jangan engkau bersedih, sesungguhnya Allah bersama kita..."
- surah at-taubah, ayat ke-40

ada juga yang sebut, "la tahfu wa la tahzan innallaha ma'ana... jangan risau dan jangan bersedih, kerana Allah ada bersama kita..."

i've checked the tafser, the first one is the actual doa.

a student sms doa ni ptg tadi, doa sewaktu Nabi Muhammad s.a.w dan sayidina Abu Bakar bersembunyi dari orang kafir di dalam gua thur, lalu Allah berikan ketenangan kepada mereka dan turunkan bantuanNYA iaitu para malaikat..

it's like a shot in the arm.., after dapat tu terus rasa tenang dan sejuk... and it does brings out light around me and helps putting things into perspectives :)

harap bermanfaat kepada semua juga.. amin!

doakan saya ya kawan-kawan...

salam xx

Langsing dengan Premium Beautiful

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 08:16:00 +0000

As some of you would have known, i am now wearing Premium Beautiful corset by Hai-O. and i can confidently say that this corset works! and it really does wonders! Faranadz introduced the corset to me a few months back when she wrote about her experiences of wearing Premium Beautiful here. being typical skeptical me, i thought... 'really?? betul ke? allaaa...mana2 corset pun sama je, bukan bley percaya pun'. but wait, we are talking about Faranadz here. i trust her. we've known each other for 13 years already. so i know her ~~luar dalam~~ enough to say that she ain't talking shit, yo! (trying to ckp style nigga tapi tak jadi!) and she is a walking billboard of Premium Beautiful some more (at least before her pregnancy..hehe! she's 3 months pregnant now but still nmpak slim.. congrats babe, i mean on your pregnancy laa!!) so, one day she called to tell that her wedding albums are ready but we ended up talking about Premium Beautiful for almost half an hour. it was then that i decided to try the corset.

so we met last june when i had a training in kl. Aisyah was there too. and she is wearing Premium Beautiful too! but now, both of them are pregnant!! and i know how much they miss wearing Premium Beautiful. Aisyah is another good friend of mine and you can read her take on Premium Beautiful here. the three of us played basketball together back in ssp. so try imagine living and being in the same school and team with the same girls for 5 years! of course i trust these girls! and i've seen results with my own eyes.

dari tadi asyik membebel of course i trust her sket punya panjang mukadimah part saya pakai Premium Beautiful blom gak tulis!!.. hehe! ok2, here's my take on wearing Premium Beautiful. i'll be honest with you ~~guys~~ ladies yang interested. among the three of us, i am the least 'diligent' in wearing it. the first time i wore Premium Beautiful was like 5 days a week during working hours, and then 'rehat' for like 5 days more!! the reason is, i felt a lil bit uncomfortable at first because the corset was new and my body needs some times to get used to it. and, wearing it the first time sangat lah berusaha sehingga berjaya sebab i put it on myself. i texted aisyah on how to wear it and refered to the instruction (tapi, siap pakai terbalik lagi masa the first day sebab silap faham!! klaka gilerr!) but, by the third day, i felt great!! sebab by this time i know the tricks of wearing it already. now, i wore it 5 days, and then rehat on weekends. faranadz and aisyah reccommended that i wear Premium Beautiful 5/6 days a weak and rehat for a day. hehe! but it depends on you lah how long you wanna wear as long as for at least 8hrs/day. no specific rules. so working hours is the perfect time to wear lah.

the main reasons of why i'm wearing Premium Beautiful adalah kerana saya mengalami sakit belakang (especially at lower part of the backbone, close to the pelvic) yang teruk, sampai lengan and bahu saya affected jadi sengal sampai tak boleh tidur. waktu buat kerja kat ofis and even time driving sangat tak comfortable. i went to a talk on ergonomics at work when i realized that saya sebenarnya bukan sakit pinggang, tapi saya sakit tulang belakang akibat postur badan yang tidak betul sewaktu duduk dan berjalan. being a police cadet yang dah biasa duduk tegak pun still ada masalah jugak!! haisshhh!! tapi, saya memang suka duduk membongkok time buat kerja. jadi, itulah punca utama kejadian ini. sakit belakang tu akan jadi lebih teruk waktu nak period. after wearing Premium Beautiful for a day pun i dah rasa result dia. angin semua keluar, asyik nak sendawa and rasa nak muntah sebab angin banyak kluar. thank god tak kluar ikut saluran yang salah. huhu. but, seriously, the first day of wearing Premium Beautiful lepas buka je after blk kerja and malam nak tidur memang rasa segar sangat! selesa giler. yang best pakai Premium Beautiful ni, bila pakai my body rasa macam 'kemas' tau. rasa cam protected. everything is in its place. tak tahu macam mana nak describe. tp, memang best giler. the corset wont restrict your movement. sangat fleksible but at the same time ensures that your body and its posture is well positioned.

lagi, i had irregular menstrual period. selalu nya, saya period 2 bulan sekali and tarikh dia tak penah dekat, usu 2 weeks delay. dulu tak. recent years je. saya tak ambik pot pun actually at first. but, if selalu sangat, there must be something wrong with my body cycle kan since before it wasn't a problem. but after wearing Premium Beautiful i can safely say that it helps. maybe it's too early to say that. but beforePremium Beautiful i wasn't having my period for more than 2 months already. but after a few weeks, i had my period. maybe it was just a coincidence. but, i'm confident to place my bet on this: Premium Beautiful in a way helps to regulate my period. insyaallah. since then, i don't have any problems, so far.

seterusnya, saya juga nak kecikkan mana2 bahagian yang boleh dikecikkan. ok, secara jujur saya tak gemuk. tapi, saya selalu perasan saya gemuk. biasa, saya manusia yang tak tahu ~~bersyukur~~ menghayati nilai-nilai estetika yang ada pada saya ciptaan Allah yang Maha Agung. insaf. (_ _)v <- insaf tp pada masa yg sama sempat tunjuk peace no war! ok, secara serius, saya nak drumstick saya yang macam ayam daging tu jadik cam ayam kampung je..kalau boleh cam ayam serama. hehe! itu je...saya memang dianugerahkan Allah dengan lemak yang lebih di situ supaya kalau nak buat kerja letak laptop lame2 atas riba pun blh tahan, jadi syukurrrrr... tp, saya nak kecik sikit je.. hehe! sbb dah lame tak ber exercise unlike school days yang sangat athletic dulu body lean and slim macam jenifer garner, skarang lean and slim juga, tapi cam serena williams tapi versi lembik! eeewwww! imagine that! huhu! ok, yang part ni secara jujur, saya tak boleh nak bagitau measurement saya skarang berapa sebab saya yang amat cerdik ni telah tidak berpedulian untuk mengambil ukuran dari awal. tapi, mengikut ukuran semulajadi yang saya guna iaitu seluar jeans saya sendiri yang dah ketat sebelum Premium Beautiful, skarang semua dah jadi cam cerita 200 Pounds Beauty waktu part heroin tu lompat2 dalam sluar jeans dia yang lama cam main lari dalam guni!! ok, agak ketipuan sedikit di situ. (@_@). secara jujur? ok, secara jujur, saya secara jujur konfidenly ingin mengatakan saya dah berjaya kecilkan drumsticks saya aprox 2-3 inches. i dont know for sure sebab i didnt take the measurement from the start ok. memang saya menyesal giler. but nevermind.

yang ini paling penting. hopefully tiada golongan yang berkromosom XY baca entry ni. saya mohon anda skip trus ke perenggan seterusnya, please. saya actually nak membesarkan sedikit breast saya. kenapa? anda pasti simpati dengan saya. untuk a lady yang berumur 25 tahun, i can still wear an A. and yet, i dont really belong in that group. i can wear a B, but if u poke at it, your finger will make a lekukan on it! see, i'm not an A but i'm not yet a B! so, i need whatever means to help me fit into B nicely, and better still terus advance ke C! too ambitious i know. but, i dont wanna be a C anyway, so nvm.. a REAL B is good enough. and teka laah rakan-rakan!! saya dah hampir berjaya!! saya tak perasan pun at first, sampai a few days ago! heeeeee.... saya gembira! akhirnya impian saya untuk menjadi golongan B sepenuhnya berjaya!! hooorayyyyy!! elllehhh, mungkin anda berkata dalam hati... hampir2 jadi B pun kecoh! tapi, ini amat penting bagi saya ok, u cannot possibly imagine how happy i am now! (T_T). see, sampai menangis. semua rakan-rakan saya tahu, kalau saya happy saya akan menangis. (TT__TT). ok, baik berhenti sebelum banjir.

jadi, ladies... ini adalah catatan pengembaraan peribadi saya sepanjang mencuba Premium Beautiful. saya sangat berpuashati dengan corset ni and saya rekomen pada those yang ada problem macam saya untuk pakai. actually, Premium Beautiful ada banyak lagi benefits. boleh hilangkan period pain and if nak kurus, shape kan badan juga insyaallah boleh sebab Premium Beautiful ada far infra red (FIR) yang boleh increase blood flow and can penetrate deep into your body and elok untuk orang yang berpantang sebab FIR ada healing effects too. you can google FIR benefits on health and beauty to get more information on that.

anyway, i don't know who reads my blog really except my close friends. i know i have (tengah kira jari).. 6 readers. anyone who happened to come across this blog and would like to know more about Premium Beautiful please let me know at phoenix_jnc[at]yahoo[dot]com or you can also call/text at 0197335301. you can also ask Faranadz and Aisyah for the info. i'm sure they would be more than glad to help :)

ok, that's all for today sweeties! selamat berbuka semua.. and selamat bertarawikh too :)

colors of life

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 06:29:00 +0000

i love orange and purple nowadays. i think they are pretty. and sometimes looking at these colors mixed together make me happy.

i wish i am small enough to fit into this. picture by ogekko

work is boring nowadays. i'm at the point of hating what i'm doing now. motivation is at all time low. cant get any lower than this. its the lowest of the lowest point that you can get. pretty shitty. and awful . i feel bad for slacking at work .

how bad my job can be compared to this? and yet, the endless complaints! hishh!!

the Ramadhan is drawing near. i'm so excited. my parents will be coming here for a week! hoorayyyy! which is pretty unusual since ayah is not so keen of leaving the house for more than three days. and he wanted to drive at first and we said, no way! he's too old for that now. im fetching both of them at the airport this saturday. can't wait for saturday! lagi, i was mad (for nothing because it was so silly) at mom the last time i met her (last week during my convocation). i've apologized on the phone. and mom being mom, she just laughed it off. it makes me feel even worst. why parents always have this effect on you?

i'm waiting for that ONE e-mail. it feels like waiting for man to finally land on the sun. which is useless. and hopeless. speaking of e-mail, i hardly receive any e-mails from friends anymore. e-mails updating each other about nothing and everything. none. i feel friendless (drama!). messages via facebook and whatnot is different. it doesn't feel the same. fae & i used to exchange letters during school holidays. and after high school we kept doing that. it stopped after a few years. the last time i sent her a letter was in 2006/7 i think. for her final semester at uni. sent her small cards for all the birthdays and exams that i missed. pretty nostalgic. we have our own lives now.

my favourite!

anyway, i may not be updating the blog for awhile, so wishing all you sweeties and all muslims who happen to come across this blog:

SELAMAT MENYAMBUT
RAMADHAN AL-MUBARAK

Semoga semua amalan diberkati dan diterima oleh Allah.. amin!

Salam everyone :)

******************************************

updates:

lupa tadi... sempena bulan Ramadhan yang mulia tak lama lagi, saya nak minta maaf pada semua kawan-kawan yang tercinta jika saya ada:

terkasar bahasa
bergurau tak kena tempat
termakan apa-apa tanpa kebenaran
terambil/terpinjam/terhilangkan/terosakkan barang-barang anda
berhutang tapi terlupa/lambat bayar (sila remind jika ada sebab if ada, maybe saya lupa)
terbercakap benda yang tak best mengenai anda dengan orang lain
bersangka buruk pada anda
perasaan hasad dan dengki pada anda
naik kereta anda tak bukak kasut dulu
tersapu taik kucing @ taik anjing kat karpet kereta anda pastu tak samak
pinjam baju anda tak pulang2 (ooh oh erin! i borrowed your camisole masa faranad's wedding!! hahah! blom pulang! i'll give it back when we meet up nnt, insyaallah... anyone else?)
pastu kalau pegi rumah anda, saya buat selamba je pegi sepah2 kan barang, tumpahkan air etc.
ejek anda secara diam2
pijak selipar anda sampai putus pastu anda hampir tersembam
selalu tanya "nak pegi makan mana?".. pastu saya yang jawab sendiri, baik tak payah tanya!
suka betulkan ejaan anda padahal saya pun tu taims faif
tertengok inbox anda pastu ada message yg saya tak sepatutnya tengok, tapi saya buat2 tak tahu padahal dalam hati saya.... *eeewwwww*
minta tolong anda beli baju saya, kita janji nak exchange, tapi lastly tak jadi sebab saya tiba-tiba tukar fikiran tanak tukar
slalu paksa anda tukar station radio even though saya tumpang kete anda
anda ajak kawen, tapi saya said no
abaikan no.20
saya tak pegi majlis kahwin anda walaupun saya dah janji nak pegi 2 @ 3 bulan sebelumnya lagi
saya beli hadiah nak bagi anda, tapi last minute tak jadi bagi sebab saya tiba2 jadik selfish.. saya nak hadiah tu untuk diri saya, padahal saya boleh beli lagi satu balut cantik2 dan kirimkan ke alamat sendiri as a suprise
bila anda bercakap saya selalu buat muka takde perasaan
bila anda makan bersepah, saya cuba buat-buat tak kenal anda

saya minta maaf ya, ada banyak lagi tapi saya dah tak larat nak fikir. tapi konklusinya, maafkan segala silap saya... semoga kita dapat berpuasa dengan tenang, ibadah kita diberkati, doa diperkenankan, segala urusan dipermudahkan Allah dan kita selamat dunia akhirat... amin...

lagi, i love listening to jj & ean!! they are hillarious! this morning they asked people to invite them for berbuka puasa at their house.. the funniest part was when ean asked jj to nicely ask the listeners to invite them so they dont look so shameless and jj went... kami nak makan, jadi kami nak anda semua jemput kami untuk buka puasa jadi kami dapat makan di rumah anda (pretty much like that lah.. i forgot already) it was so funny, the way they said that!!

Happy Ramadhan again, people!! xx

List of 10 things that make me happy tagged by Erin si Pinky Winky :P

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 09:14:00 +0000

hehe, here is mine (not in any particular order):

my family
outrageously funny and crazy friends
holidays & weekends
pay day
iphone 3gs
going to the best business school
0% procrastination + job well done
unlimited travel pass/funds
all the time in the world to laze around, read, sleep and eat
to love and to be loved

gambar buruk gilerrr! but wth?? asal aku happy sudah.. hihi

two silver stripes

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 06:16:00 +0000

090906

080809

Alhamdulillah :)

e.x.a.m

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 09:33:00 +0000

have two exams coming

september
&
october

but,
i'm waiting for

december
&
february

or, fast forward to,

march

please.

it is the time of the year

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 11:08:00 +0000

stress.

stress.

stress.

stress.

stress.

stress.

stress.

stress.

stress.

stress.

why oh why?

come December quick please! please! pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

:'(

ok, let's get back to work.

i order u to vanish. begone!

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 05:35:00 +0000

i had a nightmare last night. it felt so real. woke up thanking god that it wasn't.

hey hey kamu kamu!

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 05:04:00 +0000

hehe! rase cam dah lame giler tak tulis blog. the last three entries were actually posted using posterous. i love posterous. maybe one day i'll permanently use posterous b.c it is so easy as abc 123! hehe! ok ok.. where to start? where to start? dont read if u malas.. because seriously boring giler!

let's go back to April! ya, April... the one after Mac, and before May. no, they are not sisters. ok last April was hectic. april was where, all lecture would be at its peak. people rushed everywhere. energy was high. exam fever started to get under students nerve. lecturers were busy preparing for the final showdown of the semester. i am one of the panels for production and operations field in the faculty (no, i don't get my own parking spot, they promised to give me one but i dont have it until now). so, april was a busy month. but, let's not start with all the details b.c i would bore you to death. in the final two weeks of april, i went to a research methodology course. it is one of the requirements for scholarship and study leave. so, i have to go. and i did with flying colours (warna warni... so cliche). which is a relieve. at least i crossed a hurdle. more to come, but i'll make it. we have to present a research proposal at the end of the course and i presented my phd proposal. alhamdulillah, with few refinements here and there, i am nearly there, not quite there... but almost. hopefully, insyallah..

May! students were having their finals, some were going for their industrial training. i have a lot of exam scripts to mark. hundreds of them. i took almost a week to finish them. it was hell. i had headache kepala pusing mabuk laut nampak bintang planet semua by the time nak abis check sma scripts! like, it was crazy. u know, how we tend to imitate the handwritings of our doctors when we are in a rush. most of the scripts that i got was so *&^%@#! i can barely read what the students wrote. memang pening! seriously muntah! and so it happened that, the week that i got all the scripts, coincided with the week that i have to go to a research training course in kl. the one that i said that i saw a lady on the highway singing to the same song that i was singing. penat giler! and thank god i didnt have to drive. met faranad, aisyah and denise too in May. oh ya, i am wearing Premium Beautiful corset now. seriously best gilerrrrrr.... serious! trust me... but i'll tell you my experience of wearing the corset in separate entry ok.. but, in case you wanna know u can always email me at phoenix_jnc[at]yahoo[dot]com. or you can read it at faranadz and aisyah.

June was when i had the longest holiday since i started to work last three years. ok minus the one year that i went to do my masters. i took two weeks leave in june. i spent it at home. i went back to terengganu after almost 6 months tak balik! so during the school holiday, i got to meet all the 19 nieces and nephews that i have. ramai kan? everyone balik kampung. which was so fun because even during hari raya, it was never complete. it was so kecoh at my parents house. we went for picnic two days in a row! best giler! best giler! best giler! ok, sampai 3 kali aku tulis.. sbb memang best giler! everyone was there.. best giler! haha! ok cukup2.. one week after masuk kerja, have to go to terengganu pulak for a week! balik lagiiiii.... but this time, have to supervise the students who were doing their industrial training. i traveled all the way from johor to kerteh, and then kuala terengganu, then finally jerteh... alone! cool! after habis visit, terus cuti 1 hari.. cuti lagi! cik and ayah came back from umrah in june. one day after i habis pegi supervise students. so, alhamdulillah, i was at home when they came back. oh ya, remember i wrote in one of the previous entries that i applied for a short grant. saya lulus! alhamdulillah... it is my first research grant.. hehe! excited giler.. heard the news when i was on holiday. eventhough the grant is only for rm5000 (tutor can only get rm5k for short grant, lecturer gets rm10k), i can do a lot of things with the money. i submitted part of my phd proposal for the grants so that i can collect preliminary data for future studies to get the general ideas of what are the current practice in the industry related to my research field. cuba jaya, tak expect lulus, tapi lulus. jadi syukur syukur. it should be enough. at least ade fund untuk buat research. hopefully more to come... insyallah. so i have a year to complete the research, perlu berusaha dengan tekun! maju ke depan... mari, jom! : )

so, July... my birthday! hehe! a. herry's and ayah's as well.. the new semester started on the 6th of july. i am writing a book with Dr. Rosmaini and a teaching module with Pn. Nora (she just went for her phd last june). both are almost finish. should be finished by this weekend, insyaallah. i am teaching two course this semester and the coordinator for students' bachelor degree project. still a panel bidang. the curriculum review for both of our programs was done last june. the senate approved the paperwork and will be submitted to the KPT. guess, everything is in place now for panel bidang. and we are developing a new MBA program, i am in the working committee. so, i get to be involved directly with the development of a new program. trust me, it is not easy. now i know. so i am now in another cycle of what i did last semester, teaching i mean. hopefully better than the last one. Dr. Faisal Rafiq says that it took at least a year for a lecturer to own a course. and i totally agree on that. Btw, Dr. Rafiq is a lecturer in UM. he is just 33+. he went to an interview for the post of senior lecturer, and the panels ask him to apply for professorship! he would be the youngest lecturer in UM to be a professor, if he succeded in his application. his profile is so impressive and he is just 33! i met the man himself last Mac during the higher education professional training program for young lecturers. he is someone who is truly amazing. the way he brought himself, the way he speak. very charismatic. i am very impressed. i met truly amazing academicians/scholars/experts during the program. passionate people. the ones that should be look up too. hopefully, i'll be one of those people one day... people who have so much passion in what they do. Prof Martin Skitmore (he is a visiting professor in the faculty). i met him this morning and he said it is up to a lecturer or academician to seriously pursue his/her vocation with passion and enthusiasm... i trust him! he's been there and done that.. he knows. of course it is totally common sense... but, sometimes human, we need constant reminders. i need constant reminders so that i wont wander off from the path that i want to and should take..

this entry is boring, i know. but, i told u so already. so, if u read up to here, thanks :) i trully gtg. we have a majlis anugerah dekan this afternoon. bye...

i missed it!

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 09:25:00 +0000

this morning (those who were lucky enough) able to watch the solar eclipse which i dont even remember that it would happen today!!! haihhhh....patut lah this morning was so dark... it was raining, and almost 8.30 pun it was dark like baru lepas subuh. i was wondering why and thought that it was because of the rain... subhanallah... looking at the pictures, no words can describe what i feel... so beautiful and soooo.... i dont know, subhanallah... subhanallah...

Ramadhan is almost here... tak sabar nak sambut Ramadhan : )

awkward

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 04:11:00 +0000

to say this morning was all that, may be an understatement.

It was my birthday

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 06:04:00 +0000

I turned 25 last Saturday, 11 July. slept the whole day (almost). went out to have steamboat with sister and nieces on the evening. my sister treated me to chocolate indulgence. wanted to have classic cheese at first, but decided not to since indulgence is HUGEEE (!) - greed,... one of the deadly sins! but who cares? it was my birthday.

didn't treat myself to anything... at least nothing HUGE. bought a few books - 6 to be exact! 4 story books and 2 for the exam i'm planning to take in October. that is another story altogether. but, the story books are soooo cheap! crazy cheap for super duper amazing books! rm3/book at a clearance sale in Carrefour (!) of all places. who would have thought u can get Cormac McCarthy at rm3?? that is cheap! bought two of his books and planning to go check the sales again to buy 'All the pretty horses'.

as for the birthday wish... i'm not wishing for much. to be healthy and happy is all that matters. hope i can be a better person. be more responsible to my life, to my job, to my family. be a good friend. be more organized. appreciate all the time that i have.

there are two things that i want badly now. to perform umrah. and go to the best business school for PhD. i even dream about it last night! it was so vivid, it felt as if i was there!

hopefully, Allah will guide me through.. insyaallah..

anyway, i love posterous. thought of switching. i am switching actually.

Semestinya bukan aku

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 09:41:00 +0000

will update soon xx

Random 1.0.0.1

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Thu, 21 May 2009 13:31:00 +0000

how some people can be so vain, is unbelievable...go get a life! facebook is no fun anymore.

i wore pink baju kurung today. my notebook is pink. the pouch for keeping all stuffs associated with it is pink. i happen to have some stuffs in pink. and some people assumed that i like pink. no. i like blue green black brown and white.

*the complicated-ness of my so called complicated self*

the other day i saw a lady squeezing zit(s) on her left cheek. it was red (the traffic light, i mean). i saw her squeezing the zit(s) through my rearview mirror. she watched herself squeezing her zit(s) using her rearview mirror. it was funny. she was so hard at work, maybe she forgot that others might be looking. people tend to get bored while caught in traffic jam. but don't do the things u usually do in your room to kill the time. dont dig your nose especially. it's not a pretty sight to look at. it may be dangerous too. what if a car bumped into your car while you are at it? your finger may get stuck in the nose for God knows how deep because of the impact. so be careful with the digging. be extra cautious. i do a lot of thinking while caught in traffic jam. it is less obvious. it doesn't need good sight, hand and mind coordination. besides, you can get away with anything that you are thinking. nobody knows. except of cos, He knows. but seriously, just do a mental note reminding you to poke your zits or dig your nose at home. don't do it on the road. anyway, the lady works at the same place as mine. i saw the uni's sticker on her car. i forgot to memorize the car's number so that i can go stick a post-it note on her car saying gotcha! i caught u squeezing your zits at the traffic light near pantai hospital at 6.10pm on monday 19 May 2009. she must be freaking out. thinking she has a stalker. it must be fun. i should try that one day.

we went to Nvivo8 training last week. it was a 3 hours journey one way, 6 to and fro. we listened to a station that plays songs that are so yesterdays/years/decades, i almost wept to death. god knows how much i hate it. but the other two nice friends love it. they listen to it every day. so, i listened to it too. it wasn't my car anyway. besides, 2 clearly win over 1. the majority rules. it's democratic. we were driving along jln. tun razak that morning. i watched other drivers because i wasn't driving. that was when i saw this lady. no, she wasn't squeezing any zits. she sang to the same song that was on the station that we listened to. i read her lips. i was singing to it too. i don't know its name. but it was the song that goes like this "hari ini kau datang riang, tersenyum buat ku senang, kau hias dirimu membuat aku bertambah sayang...tapi wajahmu semalam muram mengapa dewi mengapa, mungkinkah aku bersalah, cobalah dewi katakan... jangan dewi jangan begitu, senyum-senyumlah selalu, manis riang wajah bertambah jelita". i know you are singing too, now. it was amazing. a total stranger. somehow we were connected that way at that time. i laughed when i realized that. it made me happy. anyway, the song kept on playing in my mind for the whole day, it was annoying.

i hope the good people of perak will be given the chance to choose their own government. through a state election, no less. politics and its mind and behavior altering substances. people either look smart or stupid just because of it.

i took a leave for tomorrow. the i-forgot-what-its-name shaft of my car leaked for god knows how long. i cant read car language, i'm sorry. i'm getting it replaced. it will be a year this sunday. at the rate that i'm going, it won't last that long. need to really be sensitive of the car needs from now on. i need to renew the road tax and insurance next monday as well. being a grown up is no fun. and i am still a p.

i applied for a short grant today. i was anxious. suffering serious lack of confidence. as usual trying not to cross over my comfort zone. afraid of taking chances. underestimating myself. but Dr. Spencer Johnson says "What would you do if you were not afraid?". If i were obviously me, i would apply for the grant. so i did. after serious self spanking and beating last night, i decided to go for it. and i feel good. big pat on the back.

thats all about it for random 1.0.0.1. see you on random 1.0.0.2. if there's any.

.

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Wed, 20 May 2009 06:05:00 +0000

perspective.

Life many lessons...

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Tue, 19 May 2009 05:24:00 +0000

I had a bad day yesterday.
Painful...
to say the least.

Knowing me, it will hunt me for years.
Drown me in self-pity.
Humiliation... endless regrets...
Torture my already tormented soul.

If I learned nothing from it,
I should cease to exist.
But, I've learned... I've learned.

How could i forget...
The harder it is to be swallowed,
The longer it will be remembered.

Guess... I can no longer just pin my hopes up high.
Stay in the shallow end betting for changes to happen.
But to do it.

It might be easier if,
the will is strong...

There must be a way!
Wade in and see how far I can last.

because the act itself explains everything...

He loves me too much to let me go for self-destruction.

Thank you O Allah for the reminder...
Thank you.

Selepas 3 hari

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Tue, 05 May 2009 08:49:00 +0000

Sengal dan poyo sungguh entri yang sebelum ini.... huhu! tapi, xpa lah... once in a while, tahap kesengalan dan kepoyoan tu mungkin jadi tak terkawal.. hehe! butt heyyy, tomok is worth to be mentioned here... i still think that he is a great singer, and a brilliant (okay, maybe a little too early to say that..) one at that! hehe! maybe, paras kesengalan dan kepoyoan masih belum menurun... mari kita bercakap mengenai hal lain sebelum entry ni menjadi lebih sengal dan poyo... benci!

Sooo, hari ini saya mendapat 140 skrip jawapan peperiksaan akhir untuk dipangkah dan diconteng dengan pen berwarna merah, dikeronyok atau ditumpahkan dengan air teh o ais... dan mungkin juga ditindih akibat tertidur sewaktu proses penyemakan berlaku... haihhhhh! semalam both of my classes had their final exam.. jadi, skaligus skrip yang kena disemak jadi banyak! huuuuu.... perlu bertungkus-lumus untuk siapkan semua dalam 2 hari sebab hari Khamis saya mahu pulangggggg!!!!... lalalalalalaa... tak sabar nak pulang ke kampung ku... rumahku syurgakuuuu... sekali lagi poyo! benci dengan kepoyoan yang begitu melimpah ruah sejak akhir-akhir ini... huuuuu..

ok, itu sahaja. sekian.

Berdebar!!

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Fri, 01 May 2009 12:40:00 +0000

I watched X-Men Origin - Wolverine with Bett tadi... and it was AWESOME!!!!!!! FANTASTICO! I'm sure those who are close to me know how much I love the super sapiens. You should watch it... and, I think I'm going to watch it again pretty soon...

but, tonight we are not going to talk bout it...

I'm blogging while watching OIAM and I cannot believe that Tomok actually got voted out.. i mean, literally. Technically he cannot sing tonight.. but, thank god he is still in. What the hell with the voters? He deserves to be in the finals, not that shrieking and screaming guy. I like Tomok since he sang Beyonce's Crazy in love. It was so good! and La la la kerjalah was simply brilliant! I would not recognize the song if the title wasn't mentioned before he sang it. But i like Sheila Majid's aku cinta padamu and Faizal Tahir's coba cover the most... but, minus the glasses of course. Syafinaz's ingin bersamamu pun best! He has changed.. and I think he deserves to win the 1 million. and I hope esther will trip on stage! hehe! kaem jahat..

I cannot believe that I'm actually saying all the things I've said! I mean about Tomok... but he really is a brilliant singer! at least he trully delivers his best... flaws and all, he is a good singer. In case you are wondering, I did vote for him. hehe... *malu*

Aweera and Esther performed just now... it was ok. Tomok is up next, we'll see how he performs..

*iklan*

Yeay, he is the best... for now laa. Sang Aizat's hanya kau yang mampu... and as usual, he changed the arrangement... and it was so good!

Esther and Aweera performed... ok laa. Esther was so sexy!! Of course Rihanna's version is the best.

Tomok sang his first solo song... he did well. and I hope he'll win the 1 million.

We'll wait for the result jap lagi...

Syafinaz said "malam ini ialah malam Tomok".

Wah3... beriya je aku ni haihhhh!! but I did pray for him after Isya' tadi... hahahaha!! poyo laa aku niiiiii! benci betul! but seriously, saya tak pernah jadi begini ok... ini bukan kebiasaan saya. So, jangan berprasangka bukan2 ya...

The thing is, I am hoping that the one who trully deserves the 1 million, get the money. Come on, just think of what happened to Faizal Tahir... not that I like him back then, he should win that night, but he didn't. So, the money should be for The One in a Million (so called laaa...)., not the second best. But, lets just hope whoever wins really worth the money... and votes.

Bunkface sucks!! tadi laa... nyanyi laa lagu yang famous. apa laa..

Voting line dah TUTUP! *gugup*

WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

I don't have to say who won... hehe!

2 jam 56 minit kemudian

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 06:56:00 +0000

Alhamdulillah...
atas kurniaan rezeki...
dan kasih sayang Ilahi...

Satu cabaran dah dilalui.
Pulang ke fakulti, mendapat ganjaran tak disangka!
dan tepat pada masanya.
Alhamdulillah... alhamdulillah...
syukur.

Double joy! :) :)

Kemudian, bertemu rakan lama yang datang berziarah...
Suka!

Rasanya, hari ini... triple joy! :) :) :)

oh, esok 1 Mei!! Hari Pekerja...
Cuti yang amat kena pada masanya.
Rasanya dah penat bekerja...
otak dan emosi dah di torture.

Walau apa pun...,
satu milestone dah dicapai.
Seterusnya?
Bring it on!
Tiada yang mustahil.
Insyaallah...

Masa untuk keraian!

SAYA GEMBIRA

Exactly 13 hrs 10 minutes

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 11:20:00 +0000

Tomorrow, another challenge has to be faced...

Ya Allah!! bantulah hamba Mu...
help me! help me! please...

I am dreading tomorrow like I'm going to receive a life sentence!

it is indeed.

Jalan yang mana?

phoenix.jnc@gmail.com (Nurul Kaem Ahmad) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 15:42:00 +0000

Allah telah memperlihatkan jalan...
putih atau hitam,
hanya Dia yang Maha Mengetahui...
pemilik segala rahsia...
wallahuallam..

Moga diberikan pedoman,
dipermudahkan urusan,
dan ditunjukkan kebenaran...

NIAT.

Moga niat tidak menyimpang...

astaghfirullah al 'azim...